Wrestled with the modality, the setup, and a few other things. But, I finally settled down and decided to keep it simple.
So, I am at the City Coffeehouse today, instead of my usual Monday routine which is going to Shut Up & Write in Livonia, and then going to a Surrender class at Lifetime Novi.
But, I am exhausted from this past weekend. I attended the Barefoot & Free Yoga Festival. I was able to crash with some friends from my YTT, who were there camping. They’re frequently attending festivals, and so they are pros. I was truly overwhelmed at first with the support and being included and considered.
Embarassingly, I made a shallow turn and clipped a Jeep when trying to park. But, they stayed calm and helped me get through it. Of course, I’ll still be thinking about that moment for a while.
I struggled a bit about settling with them. Feeling guilty like I am taking advantage, or inconveniencing them. Which I was. And, I wonder if I was supposed to offer the tent on Saturday when another of our YTT class showed up, and instead tried to crash in one of the bunks. Maybe they were trying to get rid of me. But, I didn’t pick up on it. If that was the case, then I will meditate on it and send them some apologetic thoughts during Metta. (Look at me using my yoga like a RYT).
As for the festival, after shaking off my initial anxiety and what not. I was able to get comfortable, and attend a few sessions. I walked barefoot in the begging, which was a bit of a challenge. But, I did make it. We got to some sessions late. I butched a couple joints, it was not my finest moment at all. But, I showed up as I am.
Also, I felt comfortable enough to microdose. I didn’t give into comparison or to impress, but for myself to feel comfortable to indulge a little bit. So I just grabbed a couple tiny ones, so it was definitely less than a gram.
Either way, it started hitting but we were walking in the forest and I was barefoot. And then we approached a couple rougher terrain (gravel, rocks, etc). So that intense, but I am proud that I didn’t end up in the bed but instead moving.
I did end up sitting on a rock at some point, which is when I started peaking.
I want to continue writing, but I think i will continue experiencing right now. I don’t want to force it out.